Wouldn’t it be great to always get what you want? I know don’t we all want that. Getting what we wish for all the time without putting too much effort into it. How about if I told you it is possible to get everything you want with only following a few tips? Over the years, I refined my strategy to get what I want without making other people feel bad or looking like a dick. And, good news, today is your lucky day. I am sharing those 6 tips about how you can get what you want without looking like an asshole.
Sounds good? Okay let’s get into it.
Though before we come to those 5 tips I need to tell you something first.
Getting what you want and not upsetting anyone or looking like an egoistic asshole is all a matter of how you approach things.
I’ve always been one of those people who most of the time got what they wanted. And I know you probably start hating me now, but hear me out, please. Though it wasn’t before my friend asked me how I’m getting all I wanted without everyone hating me and if I could tell him my secret, that I actually thought about this.
It was just normal for me to always get what I wanted and I never really reflected on why or how I’m doing it. Little side note: even though I mostly got what I wanted, I’ve always appreciated everything and took nothing for granted. This in my opinion is one of the huge differences in getting what you want by being an asshole and getting what you want because you work for it and have the right Mindset to attract those things. More on that soon.
So, after that question I was quite interested and analysed my behaviour around people and in situations where I got my will and as I found my discovery quite simple I though why not sharing it with you so you as well can get what you want.
For those who still have some concern about this being egoistic, here is why it is not.
Getting what you want is and will always be egoistic unless what you want is also what another person wants. However, being egoistic must not necessary bad. As mentioned in a previous post, you have to make sure you are physically and mentally well and satisfied in order to help and take care of other people.
So, in case you think getting your will is selfish then let me convince you otherwise. If you are out of energy and totally wracked how can you possibly help other people? You need to be fit and happy to put up the energy to be kind and care. So, start putting yourself first and make the effort to get what you want.
There’s nothing wrong with that if no one gets hurt in anyway or has a huge disadvantage. You have to start thinking of getting what you want in a business kind of way. In business CEOs also not always think of what would be best for other companies, they just do what is necessary for their company to be successful. And in order for you to be successful in life, be happy and satisfied, you also need to start doing what is necessary for you to be happy. And this includes getting your will.
So, don’t feel sorry for getting what you want.
So how am I doing it without looking like an asshole? What do I mean by “how you approach things”:
What I mean by that is that even though you are doing something “selfish” you have to show why it getting it is totally selfless. I know, I know that sound’s impossible and I have to admit it definitely isn’t easy and I’m counting myself luck to got gifted with this ability. However, I know you can do it to because there is a simple strategy behind it.
That said it might be important for me to mention that getting what you want never comes easy. If you’d hoped I will present you a strategy of how you can just get your will without working for it, I’m sorry to disappoint you. Like I said above, I might have always gotten what I wanted, but I worked for it, hard and dedicated. If you are willing to do what is necessary in the right way then you will be rewarded. Just like I was.
And here it is these 5 tips will help you to get what you will and still making it look selfless.
1. Know what you want
First things first, before you get what you want, you need to know what you want. You will never get it if you can’t define what it is. Write down your goals and dreams as specific as you can.
2. Believe you have it and you will get it
If you act and think like you already got what you want it not only makes it more likely that you will get it. It will also stop others to question your will. They will think you’ve already get used to the idea of you having it so they won’t be surprised once you get it.
They will not even think about what you did to get it in the first place.
For example, when I wanted a discount for a hostel dorm I believed like I got it already when I asked the manager. This gave me so much confidence and the manager hasn’t even questioned or thought about it because of my confidence. He just gave it to me because I conveyed the feeling of this being a sure thing.
Show the confidence that you will get it and no one is going to question it.
3. Set out a strategy
Once you want something that turns out to be a bit harder to get it can help to set out a strategy.
Think of what you have to do or how you can convince someone to give you what you want.
For example, when you have to deal with a person who usually always says no to everything without even thinking about it. Or you want a raise but you know you’ll not get it if you just ask your boss even if you act confident about it. Then it is time to think about a strategy.
In case of the “no-person” you could think of ways of getting what you want without involving their decision making or you could try to find a way to convince them. (A tip for that will follow shortly, just keep reading)
In case of the raise you might set out a plan of what you have to do to earn it.
In general, if you want something you should always set a strategy to earn and think of why you deserve to get what you want.
If you know why you deserve it others will see it too. Or you can tell them. Then they are less likely to think you are selfish because, well you earned whatever you got.
4. Be polite but certain
No matter if you’re approaching another person or planning a strategy always be polite but certain.
Know what you want and be willing to do whatever it takes to get it. Be willing to go the extra mile, but in that little bit of effort or step out of your comfort zone, because getting your will can sometimes be hard and uncomfortable. However, it is really worth it and I know you know it just as good!
Though, to not look like a dick you have to stay polite and friendly no matter what. As I said above, do selfish things out of a selfless reason. I know it sounds impossible but it is possible.
Just be polite whenever you pitch something or communicate your wants. If you are a person everyone loves because of his or her character, let’s be honest, no one will hate you for doing it.
5. Put yourself in the perspective of your opposite
Now this is what it all comes to in the end. The secret sauce that will make you get what you want in the end.
All what I’ve said above was just to prepare you for this. It doesn’t mean the other things aren’t necessary. They are as important as this last tip because they are the foundation for everything.
However, to really get what you want there’s no other way then putting yourself in the shoes of the person you are approaching.
Think of what they could get out of it. Think of why giving you what you want could be of advantage to them. If you manage to pitch your approach in the right way, by telling someone why giving you what you want is good for them, they won’t question giving it to you for one second.
Find a reason why they should and they will!
That’s it. It’s as simple as those 6 steps.
As I said before, and I can’t repeat it often enough. Getting what you want isn’t a bad thing and if you are a kind and genuine person that has only good intentions no one will hate you for getting it. In short, all you have to do to not look like an asshole is to not be one by being kind, caring and respectful with other people. Appreciate the fact that you get what you want and stop taking it for granted. Don’t make other people feel bad because you got what you wanted and give back when it’s time to give back.
Getting what you want is a give and take. It’s a two way street and you need to give as much as you take.
And then everyone will still love you for the kind and caring person that you are even though you always get what you want.
I hope this post helped you a little and I could deliver some value. I know this topic is very hard to talk about as people can get very judgey about it. My aim wasn’t to upset anyone and in case I did, I am sorry. All I wanted was to show that it is possible to get what you want without upsetting anyone.
So, in case you found this post helpful, please share it with everyone you think can need this.
Lastly, here are some more post you might be interested in. There’s a lot of valuable information about self-development, health and traveling on my blog so feel free to have a look:
Also, don’t forget to come by again next week for something new.