Freedom vs. stability… we human beings have a tendency to seek everything that is save and stable and does not change. However, what makes us really happy is to be free. So how do we solve this paradox?
For those of you who are new here, welcome to “Chasing Dreams” a series that teaches you how to live a happier and healthier life. Every month I share some insights into my past two weeks and share with you not only what I’ve been up to but more importantly what I’ve learned though life and everything that has happened. I reflect on those lessons and see how they’ve helped me to become happier, healthier and closer to my dreams.
Sharing those experiences with you I hope to give you some guidance and inspiration on how you too can see those little lessons life is teaching us every day and take those opportunities as a chance to enhance change and consciousness.
I hope that through my story and my experiences throughout the weeks you get new input and maybe a heads up when you need it to keep going with your passions, see the bright side of life and share this positivity across your tribe. I will tell you what I’ve learned about life and happiness and give you inspiration on how to deal with all the ups and downs every one of us has in their lives. It really is all about being real, being authentic and showing that no matter what, there’s always a way to see things positively and take them as an opportunity to learn and grow and create more happiness.
Now though let’s get started.
Catching up on where I left in my last post, where I told you how I need to watch out for those little signs that tell me when to push and when to take a break, it seemed life was not done with me yet and had to intensify this lesson even more. So, the weekend of 20th of April I basically spent in bed. I told you the weeks before I have cut back on exercising and surfing because I wasn’t feeling well, but I still did other stuff and the universe didn’t like that. By making my sickness get worse that weekend it kind of forced me to take two entire days off and stay in bed. Or better in the sun outside. However, now it’s really clear to me, I just don’t know when to stop when it comes to hustling. I want to much in too little time. Those two days again not only showed me to take a break every once in a while, but also to stop before it’s too late.
Always thinking “It might get better if I do less” doesn’t always work, sometimes we need to drop it all and we recover much, much quicker. In addition, because those two days, where I couldn’t do anything made be start slow again on last Monday. A little bit of exercise, a little bit of work, a little bit of everything, but not too much.
Furthermore, though this little break from hustling, I once more got reminded of something I had known before but which I easily forget. It is super important to not only reflect on yourself and your traits, but also on your life. Reflect on your behaviours, your routines, habits and overall way of living. Be totally honest with you and prepared to detect things you don’t like. Is there any negativity? It can appear in any form, as negative emotions, negative thoughts, overall unhappiness or dissatisfaction, physical pain or discomfort or even as many “bad days” in a row. If you feel you have one bad day after the other, if you see many “bad” things happening like dropping your phone, running into street lights when parking out, losing stuff, being unable to smile, judging more than usually, feeling annoyed, thinking a lot about how you want things to change aso., maybe it is time for a change of your lifestyle. If any of those things is frequently appearing in your life, maybe you should have a closer look on your habits, routines and way of living. If you manage to see it objectively you might detect a destructive habit or behaviour pattern that is the very reason for all this imbalance in your life. And if you can’t see it yourself, talk to someone, who knows you well, about your feelings and discoveries, maybe that person can point something out that’s not running smoothly in your life. Once you’ve discovered what it is, go change it.
I’ve detected that once again, I’ve wanted to much in too little time and my goals where just not realistic. I have way overdue habits and my routine was old and not helping me be productive. So, it was time for a change and this week of taking it slow was perfect to try some new routines and give myself a little space. And who would have guessed it, I was even more productive. This entire month where I was mainly sick was super productive despite everything. I might not have worked out that much but it didn’t hinder my goals of becoming fitter. I might also not have surfed that much, which really bothers me, but the world is still spinning and with my new routine I’m right back at it. So, change is not that bad after all. Change can even help you improve and progress within your goal achieving. The reason you fear change is because of its uncertainty. Because you don’t know whether that change is bringing good or bad. But let’s be real, in like 95% of the time the change either brings better or things that are equally good. Only very rarely change brings negativity.
The beauty of change was very much coming to daylight after I’ve moved into my new flat. I was super unhappy with my old one and it stressed me out. In general, many little things this month stressed me out but I didn’t realise them as stress at first as they were so little. It actually happens more often than one think that we feel not stressed but actually are stressed. Stress is not only appearing when we are under time pressure or really busy trying to get everything done. Stress can also come in form of negative thinking. If there are things that are bothering you, if you feel unsatisfied about how things are going, this is also causing stress. You might not feel stressed but deep inside you are. And this inner stress will eventually materially appear as sickness or “bad days”. So, while you are doing your life audit and are reflecting on your way of living, you might as well be aware that you might be stressed out by things you think they are not stressful.
Anyway, now that I’m in my new flat, everything seems to find its place again and the whirlwind that crossed my life seems to be over. After having more ease in my life again and many of those stressing factors removed I got to think.
I’ve always been someone who seeks for freedom. I have a hard time committing to something that holds me on one place. I’m a free bird and I love traveling. I need freedom just as much as I need air to breathe. And not just freedom of place but also freedom of time, occasional freedom of obligations and freedom of choice. But those past weeks I was more and more longing for stability. I was homesick a little, I missed my family, my friends, having a “normal life” living in the same home, having the same people around, having a fixed job and daily routine. I was so deeply longing for something stable in my life. Not just for a few months but for a long time. Being here in Lisbon, even though I’m here for a long time and am having a structured day and routine with university and surf lessons, this still is only temporary. Maybe the longest that I’ve been in one place since 2015, but still only temporary. Having this desire to settle I wondered how interconnected are freedom and stability. Is it possible to have both? Can you have the freedom of place, time and choice and still have stability in your life? I haven’t found an answer to that question yet, but I’d love to know if you have.
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See you soon and lots of love!